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MOVIES
Jason Voorhees Takes on Christmas
A holiday movie review
Just when you thought they couldn’t wring one more sequel out of the franchise, directors of Sharknado 1-IV have just released a straight to DVD instant classic:
Friday the 13th MLV: The Mistletoe Massacre
In this new installment, which is sure to become a seasonal favorite rivaling Die-Hard, Jason party-crashes a group of college students at their annual Christmas celebration. As the teens approach the traditional tree fungus hanging in the doorway, they have no idea that cinema’s most terrifying villain is waiting to decorate with red. Horror ensues as the students try to hide from the masked killer.
Fun trivia: This time, the mask is decorated with tinsel.
For lovers of gore, this installment will not disappoint. Guts and blood abound as Voorhees slashes his way through all twelve days of Christmas, along with every blond party guest. This film gives the phrase, “bowl full of jelly,” a new meaning. In addition, look for a cameo from one of Hollywood’s bloodiest actors. Hint: no one’s heard of him since the last installment of Twilight.
Be sure to pick up a copy of The Mistletoe Massacre. In fact, pick up one for you and one for that guy whose name you drew at the office. He’ll love it, and, if not, at least he’ll probably leave you alone in 2020!
Laurie Nave is Editor-in-Chief of The Magnolia Press, a subsidiary of The MuddyUm Associated Press (MAP)
